chemically altered.

As anyone that has seen my blog knows I have been through some trying times in the last few years. The fact that despite the time that has passed I am still affected by many of these events. I gave a friend some advice many years ago and until now never realized it applied to me. She lost her daughter to cancer many years ago. Donielle was 19 at the time and her heart. Around the same time she was caring for her daughter while she was ill met a man that seemed to be her salvation, but in reality he was a control freak that until now no one realized what a sick bastard this guy really is. Anyway...she has spent the last few years fucked up...pot and many worse things that I will not share, but I am sure you have a general idea what I am speaking of. So she has never truly dealt with the loss because she has been on some sort of chemical the entire time. My analogy was this...if you broke your arm it would hurt...you could take pain medication to ease the pain, but it would still be broken. She has done the same with the drugs. She says she needs it, that with all she has been through she "needs" it. Bullshit! The reason she will never be able to deal with the loss and the pain is because she has never truly addressed the issue without being chemically altered. I wish she could understand why this is. So enough already about that. I know now that the reason I still pine for that s.o.b. is because of the prescription medication I stayed on for a number of years I never truly dealt with the pain and loss myself. only thought I did...Amazing how easy it is for you to see someone elses solutions but are unable to help yourself.