taylor...

An inexplicable sadness comes over me each and every time I think of you, but with each one of these moments comes an understanding of how I allow myself to be affected by you despite the time that has passed since there was an “Us”. I know that had I truly loved you I would not be writing this letter. I know now, that I never gave you my everything. I knew better…the tragedy is that if I had known what I know now, it would have saved me years of self imposed misery. You were looking for something that doesn’t really exist, a way to not be the old and tragic creature that you have always been. You wanted a person that would cook for you and clean your house because you were tired of doing it yourself. The saddest part is I am the most magical person you have ever known and she knows it too…otherwise why would she care or be jealous? How funny…I trusted you implicitly. I made your life better, more exciting and you know it! What a pity your own inadequacies kept you from being able to appreciate this. You never made me feel the way he did. With him there were never any conditions…just him making me know how marvelous I am. Don’t get me wrong…we had a mad, passionate love affair. It was amazing…at times…absolute, but filled with stipulations and an unhealthy lifestyle, that I understand you are still pedaling the “Recreational” bullshit. Don’t worry when people ask I always tell them that you have always been a junkie…that, my friend will never change. It’s quite sad, really… I wish you well…I actually feel sorry for you and anyone that might find themselves a part of your dark and twisted existence…even her. I don’t care who sees this…put it in the paper for all I care, I just needed to say it. There was a time that I forgot who I am, but that time has passed. I realize now that you were the one for “Right Then”…not “The One”…