You know I talk a good game, but in reality my life is not what I'd like it to be. My family are savages and the misery I have to endure can be overwhelming at times. I dont expect you to care...I would do anything to have my old life back. To be honest I lost everything when I was ill. I never said that to anyone. Just forget I said it, okay? I needed to say it to someone. I swear I try so fucking hard to find the good. It is a bit much at times. Too much. Your music takes me to a good place...it has been the one thing that has been there for me through the last few years.
For unloading the emotional baggage. I was so distraught. Imagine
someone coming into your home to get a gun to kill himself. My brother who
has major problems did just that the other night. Confirmation as to why
I dont believe in guns in the home. I came for a visit to see my 70
year old mother in Sept. Just for the weekend...things were so bad I
couldnt leave. I have been gone from here for twenty five years for a
reason. Its awful! I refused to raise my children around this madness...no
longer can I escape such an existance for it is mine. If it werent for
the gym and the few friends that dont partake...my one pleasure in
life is music. What a magical journey! Thanks
Saturday, April 19, 2008
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